Where from I take all these stories? Try a guess…

Me and technology are natural enemies. I am the guy who created world of Neuroshima and invented evil Moloch. I am the guy who warns people against danger of technology.

Technology on the other hand is the one who turns off electricity in my village when I watch quarter finals of Champions League. Technology is the one who kills my router while I have very important Skype conference with ZMan Games. Technology is the one who kills battery in my Iphone when I am in the urgent need of using it.

Every single day technology tries to break me. My Ipad has breakdown the day I go to Essen, right after I downloaded 10 hours of podcasts to listen during trip. My car loses a wheel when I drive on the highway with speed 140 km/h and I have to survive with only 3 wheels and huge truck behind me…

This is war.

That is exactly why I had to ask my Merry important question when she bought flight tickets for our trip to France. The question was: ‘Are you sure you wanna be on a one plane with me?’

As far as I know, there is a plenty of technology on the plane that can have a breakdown when I am there…

***

It was an hour before we leave. I wanted to check my phone bills, so I went to http://www.t-mobile.pl, which is my operator website. ‘We have small problems. Please, visit us later’. Yeah, website was down. I showed it to Merry. And asked my question again. She smiled. ‘We go’, she said.

I took our suitcase and went to car. Luggage got stuck. Can’t open it. Merry can’t open it too. We stay with suitcase next to our car. I look at Merry. I ask question. ‘Shut up’ she says and tells me to put suitcase onto back seats.

We go to airport. We got departure. We are in the plane. I wonder what’s going to happen next. I don’t wait too long. Captains voice from speakers: ‘There is a small problem with left wing. We have to wait for technical stuff. We suppose we will have about 30 or 40 minutes of delay. Please do not worry. Please, accept our apologizes.’

If you, by any chance don’t know it yet – yes, I am sitting right next to the left wing.

I look at Merry. I ask the question again. I think this time she is really considering not being on one plane with me…

***

Finally we reached Paris, then we got lost because our GPS didn’t see street where our hotel was but it was minor problem, I am used to such things. Next day we were on convention. It was great and I will write a post about it next week. 

Today we move couple of days forward. It is Sunday, last day of convention. We need to go back to Poland…

***

Flight to Poland is 8:15 PM.
Departure is at 6:00 PM
Trip from Etouvry to airport should take a little bit more than 3 hours.
Because I don’t trust GPS (it is technology device!) we decide to leave convention at 2 PM, 4 hours before departure.

And you already know it, right? This is beginning of ‘a great adventure’.

Etouvry is the south of Paris. Our airport is the north Paris. And it turns out our GPS has never ever heard about bypassing cities. It, on the other hand, heard about sightseeing. So we drive into Paris. Into center of Paris. Into this very very middle of Paris with all those awesome monuments, with all those tourists and with this huge traffic jam. Biggest traffic jam I have ever seen in my life. We are stuck.

GPS is changing his statements. At the beginning it was telling us we will reach airport at 5 PM. Now it states we will reach it at 6 PM. Another hour in traffic. Now GPS states that we will reach airport at 7 PM. We are stuck. We are doomed. GPS changes its mind. Now it shows that we will reach airport at 7:30 PM.

This is a moment when I decide to stop be ‘this cool guy from Poland’. It was Merry who drove. Now I take driving wheel. And I am gonna show Paris how I spent last couple of years with my Playstation.

Red lights? We had no time to stop and sightseeing Paris anymore…
Speed limit? If you take average speed by adding all those minutes we moved 0 km/h, I think I didn’t broke speed limits.
Being fair on road? I told you I had to stop be ‘this cool guy from Poland’.

I literally broke all driving laws I knew. I probably broke a couple of other I have never heard of. It was crazy. And I proved that playing on Playstation may some day pay off.

***

Finally we reached airport. We run into departures section. 

DEPARTURES CLOSED AT 7:10 PM said the board on the wall.

I look at my mobile phone. It is 7:03 PM. It sounds unbelievable. It sounds like I made it up. But this is true. We reached airport 7 minutes before closing departures…

***

What can I say. If you find Robinson a difficult game, believe me, this is piece of cake when you compare it to my everyday adventures. 

And if you wonder how I came up with all this ideas for adventures… It just happen to me. I test them in real live, and then I implement them to my games…

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One thought on “Where from I take all these stories? Try a guess…

  1. Chris Schreiber says:

    Thank you for this story. Great read. And I will never be on a plane with you or drive with you. You can understand.

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